Spiritually Paralyzed

'God, I'm finally being honest with myself. I have been putting other gods before You. Namely myself. What I do in my spare time has been consumed with what I want to do which is usually watch movies. Lately You haven't even been getting the left overs of me, You've been getting none of me. Oh sure I talk to you all the time and I do a Bible study with the kids where we learn about You and Your Word, but when it comes to putting You first in my life and spending quality time in Your Word- I become paralyzed. I bought the lie that Satan has been feeding me: 'for months you spent time daily in the Word and didn't really benefit from it the way you felt you need to. what good will it do to spend time today? vegging in front of a movie is what you need.' And so I remained in the same place for far too long. Paralyzed. I am sorry Lord. Forgive me for ignoring You and for not valuing You as the great and powerful God that You are.'  -WOW!  In the instant that I wrote "forgive me for ignoring You," my heart softened.  The frustration and hurt I was holding from a date gone wrong with my husband earlier this evening melted away and I was immediately humbled.  How I feel how poorly Shane responded to me and how I felt he fell short of what I needed from him in our conversation at dinner has got nothing on how I've neglected God.  And God forgives me of that!  How then can I not forgive my husband?!  How foolish am I.  And in seeing the error of my ways, I realize that Shane wasn't wrong.  His approach in how I hoped he would respond to me and what I needed him to be was not wrong, just different.  'Thank you, Father for Your steadfast love, Your amazing grace, and your unending forgiveness.  Thank you for your patience with m shortcomings and weaknesses and for picking me up and mending my broken pieces.  Thank you for being a God who redeems and restores me time and time again.  Because Jesus conquered death, I have life!  You meet me right where I'm at- in all my selfishness and sin, and you lovingly teach me Your will for my life and how You desire me to be.  Thank you, Lord.  I am Yours.'

Psalm 138:1-3a   "I will praise You, O Lord, with all my heart; before the "gods" I will sing Your praise.  I will bow down toward Your holy temple and will praise Your name for Your love and your faithfulness, for You have exalted above all things Your name and Your Word.  When I called You answered me."  -How precious to me is Your Word.