Omnipotently Omniscient

Acts 26:32  "This man [Paul] could have been set free if he had not appealed to Ceasar."

To know how close Paul was to freedom is hard to take in.  To not understand why God did not want to continue using Paul is impossible not to think about.  How many more lives could he have swayed and saved?  How many more churches could he have planted?  How much more encouragement and clarity could he have brought in writing letters to new believers of the Way?  And yet he said exactly what God knew he would say, leading him one step closer to his death sentence.  We see written how omitting one single solidary sentence, "I appeal to Ceasar," would have prevented him from all of that.
Once again I am humbled by my inability to understand the "why" to a situation or circumstance in life.  Humbled because my question, "why," helps me remain within the mindset that I am not God, that I do not understand everything that happens in life, nor will I ever this side of heaven.  I am humbled because God is bigger (more powerful) than I and He knows more than I do- He knows everything; therefore He knows what is best, for everyone at every moment.

My best friend dying of cancer at 28 years of age and leaving behind her 18 month old and a husband of 4 years (three of those she batle a very agressive stage 4 cancer).  An incredible christian man who was impacting lives and influencing a church, and beginning to lead his family spiritually like he never had before died in a tragic accident leaving behind his wife and three kids (one of them, his daughter, I had mentored for over a year and who called me the night of the accident to come and be with her at the hospital).  As a result, his death unwillingly forced them to move out of state, out of their home, away from their neighbors and church that they dearly loved.

~~  This was my quiet time this morning.  I read chapters 25 & 26 and verse 32 of chapter 26 jumped out at me.  What I wrote above was in response to my reading of the Word this morning.  It was cut short by my five little children waking up to get ready for church.  So I left for worship with this gentle or not so gentle truth resting on my thoughts.  And it was there, in worship, that God held me in my humility and comforted me in the midst of my hurting heart for all the "why's" that I've had to watch loved ones live through.  It was in a song, the lyrics of a song that He spoke lovingly to me.  Graciously reminding me that He is NOT only omnipotently (all powerfully) omniscient (all-knowing) but that He is also omnipresent (everywhere all the time).  He is right here with me.  Just like he is right with all those people in the midst of their pain, their grief, their heart ache, and their loss.  He is with them.  And that is enough.  Here is the song:

Spiritually Paralyzed

'God, I'm finally being honest with myself. I have been putting other gods before You. Namely myself. What I do in my spare time has been consumed with what I want to do which is usually watch movies. Lately You haven't even been getting the left overs of me, You've been getting none of me. Oh sure I talk to you all the time and I do a Bible study with the kids where we learn about You and Your Word, but when it comes to putting You first in my life and spending quality time in Your Word- I become paralyzed. I bought the lie that Satan has been feeding me: 'for months you spent time daily in the Word and didn't really benefit from it the way you felt you need to. what good will it do to spend time today? vegging in front of a movie is what you need.' And so I remained in the same place for far too long. Paralyzed. I am sorry Lord. Forgive me for ignoring You and for not valuing You as the great and powerful God that You are.'  -WOW!  In the instant that I wrote "forgive me for ignoring You," my heart softened.  The frustration and hurt I was holding from a date gone wrong with my husband earlier this evening melted away and I was immediately humbled.  How I feel how poorly Shane responded to me and how I felt he fell short of what I needed from him in our conversation at dinner has got nothing on how I've neglected God.  And God forgives me of that!  How then can I not forgive my husband?!  How foolish am I.  And in seeing the error of my ways, I realize that Shane wasn't wrong.  His approach in how I hoped he would respond to me and what I needed him to be was not wrong, just different.  'Thank you, Father for Your steadfast love, Your amazing grace, and your unending forgiveness.  Thank you for your patience with m shortcomings and weaknesses and for picking me up and mending my broken pieces.  Thank you for being a God who redeems and restores me time and time again.  Because Jesus conquered death, I have life!  You meet me right where I'm at- in all my selfishness and sin, and you lovingly teach me Your will for my life and how You desire me to be.  Thank you, Lord.  I am Yours.'

Psalm 138:1-3a   "I will praise You, O Lord, with all my heart; before the "gods" I will sing Your praise.  I will bow down toward Your holy temple and will praise Your name for Your love and your faithfulness, for You have exalted above all things Your name and Your Word.  When I called You answered me."  -How precious to me is Your Word.