Solomon's Struggle is my Struggle

I'm in an extreme King Solomon's meaningless life moment.  What is the freakin point of it all?!!  Seriously, struggling with the will to live.  Not that actually reads this but on the off chance that someone does, no need to start panicking and call a hotline on my behalf, I won't ever do anything to act on that.  I'm too afraid to be seen as that incredibly selfish and the disappointing look on God's face if I did do that and met Him after having done so.  But for real, there is NO POINT to any of it!  It's tiring, unending, monotonous, empty, unfulfilling, lonely, hard, and exhausting.  If everything under the sun is meaningless then what is the point of all of this?  If we are supposed to find all our satisfaction in God then why are we here?  Why do we keep on living?  Why don't we just do that in His presence in heaven where there won't be Satan to jack with our thoughts and emotions and relationships?  I don't know how to find complete joy in my Lord... complete satisfaction in Him on this earth.  And He even says to us we never will.  We will always be incomplete the final day so what is the FREAKING point?!!!  None of it makes sense!  None of it!  I'm so exhausted with life!  I'm exhausted with this calling I'm exhausted with the spiritual attacks as a result of being obedient to this calling, I'm exhausted with sacrificially loving on people non stop and getting no feelings or evidence of love in return.  I can't do it anymore and I don't know how to stop without disappointing my husband, confusing my kids, and hurting the church.  Then there's a WHOLE bunch of pressure in that as well.  It's just too much.  I feel crushed and pinned; unable to do anything about it.  I keep waiting for my It's a Wonderful Life moment where after all these years I've spent serving, helping, giving up of myself to help others then, when I need help most, they'll all come to help me out in my desperate time of need.  But I'm not seeing that.  Despite reaching out and asking over 40 people to help us on three different occasions; only two people showed up.  Two.  I'm thankful for those two; don't get me wrong.  Those two kept me from completely deflating and walking out on church.  Everyone is too busy to love others.  and it's sad.  it makes life meaningless.